Alcohol, Assholery, and Patriarchy at its finest.
Thursday night was the shit-tastic topping to an already shitty week.
It was my friend's birthday, and even though I had an exam in the morning, I decided to stop by the bar for an hour or so. I needed a bit of a pick-me-up from all of the lovely relationship fighting I'd endured for three days straight, which I may post about later if I ever conjure up the nerve.
Anyway. It was like any old bar night with the usual suspects, except for the fact that friend X, let's call him Jerkface for fun, was in town for no apparent reason, even though he lives 5 hours away and had to work the next day.
Jerkface wasn't always a jerkface, btw. I actually had a lot of fun the last time he came into town. But, this particular night he apparently took a page out of someone else's jerkface book with the intention, I'm assuming, to impress the person he's been trying to get with for ages.
So, they all wanted to do sake bombs. Jerkface in particular. He decided he was going to treat the group and asked if I wanted one. I said no, he said come on now, I said no. He ordered me one anyway. When the order came out, he grabbed the beer & sake and tried to hand it to me. I said, I don't want one, but he still insisted that I take it. He insisted six times, and each demand elicited a shriller and more frantic NO! and I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW! and DO YOU NOT HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. But, my voice was no match for the blaring band in the background, or Jerkface's smugness. Then, in a melodramatic and somewhat serious way, he said, I'm done with you, you've offended me. And then he pushed me a little.
recap:
Jerkface: silly woman, just listen to my authority so I can impress my lady friend.
Me: no, FUCK YOU, but you can't hear how fucking angry I am because the music's so fucking loud.
God, I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about this. How insulting, first of all, for a person you consider a friend pull a imma man and wanna show off my manliness by refusing to take NO from a woman card. Seriously, what the hell, Jerkface. He was publicly shaming me for not taking a sake bomb. A SAKE BOMB. And then he pushed me. It was as if I was refusing to call 911 for someone bleeding to death.
The thing is, it's not like I'm unaccustomed to being peer pressured into drinking. Welcome to college. Or, that I'm unaccustomed to enduring assholery at its finest from drunkards wanting to be manly men. Welcome to being a 20-something female.
But seriously, something's wrong when a generally amicable dude suddenly thinks it's cute and impressive to assert such an obnoxious and flippant power trip that results in one of his friends (moi) feeling like I'm not even worthy of decent human respect. Or when our drinking culture starts making others feel entitled to demand that EVERYONE drinks, regardless of varying wishes and goals. It's disgusting, it's cruel, and I hate it.
Btw, this post was inspired by this, comment thread included.
